The affair site
Given that new reality, I put together what I've learned about the psychology of affairs, their meaning and their consequences for people in our current culture. We ended up in bed, as well as a lot of other places! The liberating and compelling feeling from this kind of affair, though, can mask hidden emotional conflicts.Based on my work, I have found six types of affairs that people have today. It can feel really intense, but it's also the quickest to flame out. An example is a person who's able to feel sexually alive and free only in a secret relationship, hidden from the imagined hovering, inhibiting eye of one's parent, which the person may experience unconsciously with his or her spouse.They spoke on the phone frequently and lingered around after working on the project.Soon they realized that a very intimate and emotionally close bond had developed.Suddenly they were in the midst of an affair that neither wanted to end.They thought they could keep it secret; that neither would make any demands on the other and it would be perfectly safe. Most "family" affairs are interwoven with family dysfunctions and buried resentments.
She told me that her affair was a "marriage stabilizer.I find that people in this kind of affair find something in each other that's lacking in their "real" relationship, and they're not dealing with that.Aside from the challenge of remaining on the chaste side of the sexual borderline, such "lovers" must hope that their primary partners continue to believe they're telling the truth.And there's a risk that what they're not finding in their primary relationship will become increasingly disruptive to it. Bill thought this was fail-safe because no one would suspect.He and his wife's sister finally had sex after years of mutual, erotic teasing.
But she couldn't create a solution, nor figure out how to deal with her desire for revenge.