Casual dating sex sex lies and online dating
I actually just entered a Relationship this week after a looong period of non-serious dating, which will never not be an unnatural (yet fulfilling!
) project that I have to embark upon with calculated intention.
When it comes to digital communication, it's a good rule to avoid chit-chat and mostly stick instead to just making plans to meet in person. If they follow you, ignore it—they aren't on your level. Example: A dude I met through Tinder followed me on IG before even our first date.
I mean this next statement so hard: If you don't plan to have a more permanent relationship with someone, you don't need to be linked on social media at all. It was way too strong, way too fast, and ultimately contributed to me making sure we didn't schedule a second one. But this kind of relationship also wasn't in line with the game plan we originally discussed, and it was a bummer to lose that great thing we had, even if what we were inadvertently turning into would've been great for some people, or even for us at a different time in our lives.
My name is Beca and up until relatively recently, I was a serial monogamist.
I hopped from serious relationship to serious relationship, racking up a surprisingly high number of "meaningful" relationships at a young age.
If you have the same tendency as me—to get very legit with someone real quick—you don't have to stay that way. I say "date" in a deliberate way because I mean the casual, lower-case "d" kind of dating.
dating (sic) is still super fun and you shouldn't have to miss out on the chill variety it offers just because you have a track record of Relationships with very little time in between.
Keep each other in the loop with your life and feelings, especially if either changes. Okay, maybe it is for some of us, but we can totally do it.
This type of social interaction can cue way too much stress, and introducing that kind of social stress into a casual relationship defeats the purpose of keeping things non-serious. If the ratio is more individual friends than couples (and at least five of them to start with), it's probably a safe bet to bring someone you're only kinda involved with.
Also, if you start showing up with someone to events like these, the people in your life are going to start associating the two of you as a couple, and sometimes other people defining your relationship can have a significant impact on actually defining it. If you're going to start including someone you're sleeping with into more intimate social outings with your close posse, you might as well give them a goddamn drawer.
I'm not saying you have to go out and bang everyone you can (unless that's what you want to do, in which case, go for it.
Be safe, have fun, do you.), but add a little diversity to your dating roster to maintain a safe distance from any one person.
Worst case scenario: You cool on your attraction to them, in the meantime they fall hard—for both you and your favorite cafe. The whole situations evokes a kind of intimacy you just shouldn't mess with if you want to maintain a certain degree of distance with someone.